10 things people say that aren't meant to be insults, but ARE:

 Well, maybe some of them ARE meant to be insults.  You decide:

1.  "Are you feeling very well today?"  (Meaning to you:  "You sure are grouchy!")

2.  "Wow!  You lost weight!  You look great!"  (What you hear:  "You were so fat before! It's great you did something about that!")

Barney Fife

3.  "That makeup makes your skin look remarkable"! (You think they said to you:  "It's about time you covered up those black circles and eye bags!  You look like Barney Fife!")

4.  "You don't need to be concerned about that..."  (Meaning:  "Get out of my business.")

5.  "Would you like a mint?"  (You think they said to you::  "Your breath smells like the dead rat in the back of the garage.")

6.  "Did you just wash your hair?"  (Meaning:  "Your hair is a grease bomb!")

7.  When you call someone and the person on the other line immediately says, "What's up?"  (What you hear:  "OK, give it to me straight and hurry up and get it over with because I'm busy and can't be bothered...")

8.   "Oh, I'm sorry, I can't met up today...it will probably have to be in a couple of weeks.  I'll call you!"  (What you hear:  "I am so IMPORTANT.  Us IMPORTANT people do not have a lot of extra time to visit.")

9.  "Oh!  You got your hair cut!" (Meaning:  "What did you do to your hair?!")

10.  "So, are you tired?" (Implied:  "...or are you just ugly?")*



*Credit for this one given to my friend, Lisay, who dreamt that someone said this to her.  It affected her throughout the rest of Junior High.  T-shirts on sale soon.  Stay tuned!

UPDATE: 

T-SHIRTS NOW AVAILABLE!

• 
• 
• 
• Tweet

CHICKY GROOVY COOLNESS GADGET

Sheesh! What's WRONG with my Brain??!!!

I've always been a Clodhopper.  Clodhop here, clodhop there.  At least, that's what I was called by my sister.  She even gave me the pet name "Sasquatch".  Being from the Pacific Northwest, we knew what that was before we even knew what the boogie man was.  I called her "Hamburger Head", so I guess we were even.

I have always had a problem with my balance, and always have been a "rocker".  Even a friend of mine wrote about me in her biography, Angels and Pawprints: A Lifetime of Love, Laughter, and Tears.  Her son was a "rocker", too.  When I sit, I rock back and forth, and when I stand I rock back and forth.  Kids would call me "duck", or say that I had a "rocking chair in my head", or that I was a "penguin".  Now that makes for a nice self-image.  As if being shy wasn't bad enough...

I also had some embarrassing moments, which I now think are funny.  When I was older I would ride the bus to work, and one day had to carry a few things under my arms.  I pulled the bell to stop the bus, and got up before the bus was actually stopped, like you're supposed to do.  I was trying to be so very assured of myself, but for the life of me when that bus came to a stop, I kept moving -- but not forward.  I fell to left of me and landed on some lady's lap.  I was looking right up into her face and said sheepishly, "Sorrr-yyyy".   I got off feeling like such a Clodhopper.

When I would be walking and someone yelled at me from somewhere, I would stumble.  One day, in college, I was trying to stay composed while walking into the cafeteria to get seconds of stew.  I LOVE stew.  As I stepped over into the mess hall, my feet went out from under me and I fell at the feet of a dude I kinda had a sorta crush on at the time.  He said, "So, you're falling for me, eh?"  Can you say "RED FACE?"  Or even better, "MY FACE IS GROWING BIGGER AT THE MOMENT!"  After composing myself, getting back to my table and finishing my stew, I was taking the tray back to where you take the trays back, someone said my name, and guess what?  I went down again.  Yes.  Clodhopper R Us.  Well...ME.  What's WRONG with me??!!

I was always falling and spraining my ankles.  I have even broken my left leg two times because I was just walking down a couple of measly hills and lost my balance.  One break was a compound fracture that was so awful that it almost sent the friend who was caring for me over the bridge we were on.

Even when I would perform in front of people singing, I would wonder why I would have to THINK about standing there or I would fall down.  I often have to THINK about even just walking.  What's WRONG with my BRAIN???  Yes, I am a Clodhopper.

For the last couple of years I had been experiencing a series of dizziness spells that I couldn't explain.  I would get so dizzy that I would actually get nauseous, and I couldn't explain why.  When I was driving I would sometimes get dizzy and have to pull over the car.  WEIRD.  Then, one day, while making candy with J-GQ, I felt my eyes go CRAZY!  They were actually rolling around in my head and I knew I was experiencing true vertigo.  I turned away from J-GQ and hung on to the sink, because I didn't want him to look at his mom morphing into a monster. Plus, I needed to hold on to something or I would fall down.   I called for My Boyfriend, and he took me to the ER.  Nothing wrong. 

However, I kept experiencing this dizziness, and finally went back to the ENT.  I had been there in the past, but he didn't really take me seriously.  He might as well have shrugged me off by telling me I just had Irritable Bowel Syndrome and there was nothing anyone could do about it.  I'd heard that one too many times before.

But, I went back to his partner, and told him my story, and told him that his buddy in the other room really didn't do too much to help me the last time.  So, to satisfy and humor me, he decided to schedule me for a test which determined balance function in the ears and also an MRI.

I went in for the balance test and they had kept telling me that I would need someone to drive me home because I would feel extra dizzy and sick to my stomach after the test was complete.  Well, after the test was complete I felt nothing, so I told My Boyfriend, "Well, that was a waste of time", because I obviously had nothing wrong with me there.  Then I went into my MRI.

When I went back to the ENT to get the test results, I knew what he was going to say -- it was nothing and I was probably just experiencing IBS.  However, what he said was actually quite a shock, and I had to ask him to repeat it.  He said, "Well, you have NO balance function in your left ear and very limited function in your right ear.  In addition, you have a 3 inch cyst on your brain, so I would like you to see a neurologist."  Excuse me???  What?!!!  Come to find out, the cyst was an arachnoid cyst, was benign, and had been there since birth, and the balance function had also most likely occurred when I was a small child.

So, he sent me on my way and hooked me up with the neurologist and also the physical therapist.  The neuro said that the cyst was a factor in my balance and showed me how it was impeding into my brain.  He said they typically don't grown, but he HAD seen them grow, so would like to do follow-up MRI'S.  This was the strangest thing I had ever heard!  And, the physical therapist said she said she was surprised that I was even able to stand up and asked if I slept a lot.  I said, "YEAAAAAH"  She said that people who love people with balance issues cannot understand why they sleep so much -- it's because much of their effort is being put into just staying upright.  I could relate.  My Boyfriend could never understand why I slept so much.

I was FREEEEEEE!  I finally had an answer to my CLODHOPPER-ness!  I had an answer as to why I rocked -- I am trying to equalize myself!  I had an answer as to why, if my hair gets in my eyes I cannot move.  I had an answer as to why I cannot walk up bleachers, walk down the stairs at a movie theater without holding onto a handrail, why I have to think about walking, why I get overwhelmed in grocery stores or with crowds of people, or why I stopped offering to help people in their kitchen after dinner because I didn't want to break something.

So, now, I have an excuse.  I try not to use it too often, but if you ask me to come help you clean up your house, I might say...."Sorry, I have a cyst on my brain."  And I won't be lying.

• 
• 
• 
• Tweet

CHICKY GROOVY COOLNESS GADGET

20 things to do to grow your NICE quotient -- and to spread it on...

In a world that is becoming more and more mean-spirited, it would be behoove us to step back and think about what it means to really be nice. And, when we are nice, it is contagious. Here are a few suggestions I've come up with that we can all do today:


1. Smile at a child.

2. Pay for the person's toll behind you.

3. When someone starts to gossip about someone, say something nice about that person instead and change the subject.

4. Make someone's favorite cookies for no reason.

5. Make someone feel good about themselves.

6. Post on someone's facebook wall just to let them know you are thinking about them.

7. Send a note in your child's lunch sack.

8. Tell someone you will pray for them, and then do.

9. Pray for someone you don't particularly like.

10. Wave and smile at someone who has let you into the car line.

11. Offer to let someone go before you at the grocery store.

12. Tell the waiter/waitress or grocery clerk how well they are doing and you appreciate their hard work.

13. Send someone a note who has done something nice for you, but you never told them.

14. Ask a new artist, author or blogger how you can help them promote their work and be successful.

15. Say something funny to the grocery clerk.

16. Treat your child like you would a friend's child.

17. Treat your husband like someone you are trying to impress.

18. Offer to help someone move or organize a room in their home.

19. Open a door for someone, and give them a sincere smile.

20. Say "Excuse me!" when you walk in front of someone.


I realize that most of these might be obvious, but it is amazing how we often forget in the midst of our business to do the small things.  I guarantee that when we make and EFFORT to be kind, others respond IN KIND, and the world is a better place to live!

Please leave comments for other things that you think are NICE! God bless!

• 
• 
• 
• Tweet

CHICKY GROOVY COOLNESS GADGET

Why is it ...

that some people don't turn to God until He is all they have left?

Why is it that we don't turn to God FIRST, and then we have everything else?

I guess it is because as Human Beings we feel the need and have been taught our whole lives to be in control, and we don't want to have to depend on something other than ourselves.

But, I also know that each one of us needs a purpose. We need to know what our design is. How are we to know that unless we inquire of the One who actually made us in the first place?

To some people this is simplistic and even sophomoric. But, that is the beauty of God. He is awesome (and I don't use that word lightly) and He is SIMPLE. He wants to reveal His mysteries to us Humans. He does this through Jesus, "in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge." (Colossians 2:3) Sounds mystical. It is.

I always wanted to write a song about a person who came to know God because of all of the good things that happened in their lives. I didn't know of anyone like that until I met my husband, even though God's goodness is all around us. But, most people come to the end of their rope before they look up, and hopefully right into the eyes of Jesus, who only wants to love them, not judge, show them their purpose, and give them, most importantly, life abundantly -- being completely and utterly forgiven.

• 
• 
• 
• Tweet

CHICKY GROOVY COOLNESS GADGET

You know what makes me sad...?

Yellow doesn't make me sad. But when my son, J-GQ, is sick, I feel sad. My child is sick today.

You wouldn't think I was sad, though, because today at the doctor's office he was the one acting like the adult. I was texting some old friends I worked with at Continental Singers, and I was laughing my head off while he was sitting there on the table being miserable. He kept shaking his head. And rolling his eyes. As the friend I was texting said, "That's what teens do." Even when the doctor came in, I was finishing up my text and he probably thought I was the most disengaged mom.

So, my son has the flu. Yuck. But, he's handling it like a man (which isn't really saying a whole lot, because most men are little babies when they are sick. Except my Chump. He's not a woosy baby when he's sick -- he just wants everyone to stay away from him.)

J-GQ is not whining or complaining. He's a tough kid (but not of heart). And that makes me glad.

• 
• 
• 
• Tweet

CHICKY GROOVY COOLNESS GADGET